Self-reflection can become self-obsession which I want to avoid, we can just curve in on ourselves, become bitter or proud. But, it can be an opportunity to recognise grace in my life and to do so in others, and an opportunity for me to repent and move forward and for people reliant on grace to be thankful together.
As I reflect this year I'm aware of some big changes in my knowledge of God which have shaped my priories and approach to life and the work. As a member of our home group recognised recently my favourite phrase in the last year is "The Triune God" which I'm not ashamed of, and I feel like the application of this has been increasingly rippling through my approach to people, to training others, not always as I'd want but nonetheless making a difference, particularly since the end of last autumn. It'd be nice to think that several years ago I arrived, and had been carrying out a model ministry ever since. No chance. I'm not writing off the past, but I'm glad of change.
This is shaking up my approach to a lot of stuff - and I enjoyed working through some of that with Harri, Brian & Becca this morning under the heading The Application of Trinity to Marriage and Mission.
This means there's things I look back on with anguish. Stuff I've said and done, and not said and not done that I wish were different. I'm not wallowing or imagining that I can do them different, I just need to remember them all - the good and the bad - blotted out by my saviours blood.
I'm so thankful for a great number of people God has put in my life who have shaped me in the last year through their love, their example, their teaching, friendship, writing or other unwitting input to my life. I'm very encouraged but there's plenty I'd do differently too. I'm thankful for my team for bearing with me for another year - that's some serious evidence of grace in them. I'm thankful for the spreading goodness of the Triune God on mission in the south west, and I'm thankful for the Triune God who has swept me up into his life.