Krusty Sage: "Oh, but it's Christmas! It's a special time of the year! I know, we're in debt, overall, but it's Christmas, and that's only once a year, and -- "And..." you're an idiot. Seriously. The Sage says it in love. The Sage also says, in love, that if you spend $150 on your kid for Christmas when you don't have $150, you're not only giving your kid a neat-o Nano, you're giving your kid a gift that keeps on giving: The gift of foolishness, surrounded by beautiful lights, the scent of pine, and fudge. The gift of foolishness, on display, etched in memory. Ah.... If you don't have the money for it, you don't buy it.... "But didn't the 'wise men' bring GOLD to baby Jesus? And fancy myrrh and stuff? That was extravagant, and -- " They were royalty. You think they used a Discover Card? "But isn't 'Christmas' in the Bible, and -- " No.
ht: Milton Stanley
Dan Hames: One of the strangest phenomena at the moment is the ubiquitous ‘five-a-day’ rule for the consumption of fruit and vegetables. The Experts tell us that we all need to eat at least five portions of these things every day otherwise we are more likely to catch cancer or diabetes. The Experts also like tell us that pesto is a carcinogenic, chocolate rots the face, and they can’t seem to make up their minds about how much red wine women should drink.... Today, however, I ate an orange in a style befitting a lion with a fresh antelope.