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Loving my wife

When I got married if you'd asked me how I would best love my wife I would probably have said 'by telling her the gospel' - telling her everything I learn at conferences, loading the house up with books...

Six years later I'm inclined to think that at least 99% of the way I'll love my wife is by living sacrificially, listening, being patient, being kind, not speaking on so many of those occasions where I might be tempted to correct, challenge, critique etc, doing the washing up, being generous to her...

Back then I would probably have looked at my 29 year old self as having gone liberal (further evidence being that I don't think the Christian life consists entirely of 'doing evangelism' but that's for another post). From here it feels like I've gone a bit more human.

Sure I still share some of the conference stuff, and we have (a lot more) books in the house. Now though I view a conference as a service to help me grow in love and the test of any conference's benefit to me is how I relate to my wife when I get home. Still learning, hopefully still growing.


  1. Nice post Bish... I always find it helpful to be reminded of this stuff... in a few weeks its our first anniversary and I defo feel I've learnt loads about being a husband (yet just as weak at putting it into practice)...

    Have you read Mahaney's Sex, Romance and the Glory of God? That contains so much that I forget day-to-day...

    I remember the T4G talk on Doctrine being very helpful - why is doctrine important? Because you can't love your wife without truly understanding the doctrine of the Cross... what a priority!

  2. a timely reminded - and given my wife is still a fox after 12 years of marriage and she loves jesus even more, I had better raise my game to have a hope of loving her as she deserves!

  3. that's one of the best posts ive ever read.


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